Lucifer’s Lexicon

AMERICAN, n. A sheep whose fleece is red, white and blue.

BIN LADEN, OSAMA, n. A freedom fighter, according to Ronald Reagan. A terrorist, according to George W. Bush. As the saying goes: One Republican’s freedom fighter is another Republican’s terrorist.

GAY LIBERATION, n. Out of the closet and into the casket.

GREAT WHITE SHARK, n. A type of fish created by a benevolent Deity to provide a role model for Compassionate Conservatives.

HOLOCAUST, THE, n. A beloved conspiracy theory that’s not called a conspiracy theory because it’s the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth, so help me Hannah and her sisters, so you’d better believe it, punk.

HUXLEY, ALDOUS, n. A writer notorious for his virulent anti-Semitism, as expressed in such books as “Eyeless in Gaza” and “Brave Jew World.”

MEDICAL MARIJUANA, n. A gateway drug which will lead to the use of medical heroin, or at least medical morphine.

MIDDLE CLASS, THE, n. The backbone of American society, a society notorious for its lack of backbone.

MYSTIC, n. One who, like Ouspensky, could go mad from one ashtray, or one ashram.

REASON, n. The faculty with which one can find a reason for anything.

REVENGE, n. Getting even, or getting even more than even.

REVOLUTION, n. A gun-American activity.

ROSICRUCIAN, n. Originally, a supposed member of a supposed secret society whose supposed lips supposedly were Hermetically sealed.

SIN, n. A god first worshipped in ancient Harran but now universally revered.

SYCHOPHANT, n. One who seeks upward mobility through upward sucking.

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