Lucifer’ Lexicon

BLAME AMERICA FIRSTER, n. The term used by Blame America Neverers to refer to anyone who ever criticizes America’s rulers, who, of course, are above criticism. Yes, sitting up there on top of that huge pile of money, our rulers are way above criticism.

COALITION OF THE WILLING, THE, n. A folie a deux.

CONSPIRACY THEORY, n. A theory about a conspiracy, such as Alvin Rosenfeld’s theory about an Arab-Muslim conspiracy to destroy Israel, which he expounded in his 1977 book, “The Plot to Destroy Israel.” As Rosenfeld so cogently noted, the Arab and Muslim countries of the Middle East would never dream of fighting against each other, so the only possible reason for their acquisition of weapons was to use them to destroy Israel, which, of course, is exactly what they did.

DRUG-FREE AMERICA, A, n. A utopian fantasy used to irrationally rationalize the War on Some Drugs.

FORCE, n. The means by which Great Powers sometimes seek to show that international disputes must be settled by discussion and not by force.

HIZBALLAH, n. In Lebanon, the Party of God. In the US, the Republican Party is the Party of God.

LOVE CRIME, n. A crime motivated by love and which, therefore, should be punished less severely than the same crime committed with a different motivation.

PROCRASTINATOR, n. One who puts off until later what he could do sooner, such as, for example, a Nazi who said “Tomorrow, the world,” or a Jew who says, “Next year in Jerusalem.

SELF-DEFENSE, n. The God-given right to kill anyone whom you paranoiacally presume might possibly attack you someday. Fortunately, God gave this right only to Israelis and Americans, and not to Ayrabs or Muzzlems.

WORLD WAR TWO, n. The Good War. But to borrow a line from Ayn Rand: Good for whom, and by what standard?

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