Some Questions for Allah

Hello again, Allah. Once again I’ve been rereading you book “The Holy Qur’an,” as translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali, and I’ve got some new questions for you that I didn’t ask in my essay, “An Open Letter to Allah,” in my book, “The Myth of Natural Rights and Other Essays” (Nine-Banded Books, 2008).
In Surah 4, verses 56-58, you, or Muhammad (may piss be upon him) pretending to speak for you, said:

“Those who reject our Signs, We shall soon cast into the Fire….
“But those who believe and do deeds of righteousness, we shall soon admit to Gardens, with rivers flowing beneath….
“For Allah is He Who heareth and seeth all things.”

You say you are you who heareth and seeth all things. But do you also smelleth and tasteth and feeleth all things? Hmmm? Or do you only have those two senses, hearing and sight?
In any case, what, if anything, do you mean by the word “soon”? You threatened to cast those of us who reject your signs (i.e., who don’t think your supposed signs prove your existence) into the Fire “soon,” and you promised to admit believers who do good deeds into Gardens “soon.” That was back in the 7th century, right, Allah? So it’s now 13+ centuries later and you still haven’t fulfilled your threat or kept your promise, which you said you would do “soon.” I repeat: What, if anything, do you mean by the word “soon,” Allah?
In “Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary,” I find the following relevant definitions of “soon”: “without undue time lapse; before long.”
It appears you have your own idiosyncratic definition of “soon,” such as, perhaps, “Sometime within the next trillion years or so.” Am I wrong? If so, set me straight, Allah.
In any case, I’d really like to know how much longer I’m going to have to wait until you cast me into the Fire.

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