Lucifer’s Lexicon

CHRISTIAN COSERVATIVE, n. A blind guide who strains out a zygote but swallows a fullgrown camel jockey.

ESCHATOLOGY, n. A branch of scatology devoted specifically to bullshit about the end of the world.

JONES, ALEX, n. A drama queen. A bullshitter with a bullhorn. David Rockefeller’s illegitimate grandson.

HARRISON, WILLIAM HENRY, n. America’s best president ever.

QUETZALCOATL,n. The feathered serpent; the Aztec god of transitional evolutionary forms.

SOON, adv., Sometime within the next trillion years or so. (This is the meaning of the word as it is used in certain prophetic writings, such as “The Holy Qur’an.”)

THEOCRACY, n. 1.Rule by God, i.e., anarchy. 2. Rule by people pretending to represent God.

(The above definitions are hitherto-unpublished definitions which might be included in a sequel to the i987 book, “Lucifer’s Lexicon,” or in a second edition of it.)

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