Lucifer’s Lexicon

ABOLITIONIST, n. One who advocated the abolition of slavery, presuming to know better than the God of the Bible, who did not abolish it.

BOEING, The sound made by airplane parts bouncing off the ground.

CLASH OF CIVILIZATIONS, THE, n. The clash of barbarisms.

GAY DAY, n. St. Vaseline’s Day.

MERCY, n. Kindness or forgiveness shown by God to the Israelites, if not to the Egyptians. (“O give thanks…[t]o him who smote Egypt in their firstborn: for his mercy endureth forever.” Psalm 136: 1 and 10.)

MOUNT SINAI, n. The moral high ground.

MUSLIM ZIONIST, n. A very rare sort of individual, and therefore very precious.

PROSPERITY, n. God’s reward to the righteous, or to the wicked, as the case may be.

RAPTURE READY, adj. Not ready for no Rapture.

REAL PEACE, n. The kind of peace that can only be achieved by real war.

WAL-MART,n. A company that directly provides many low=paying jobs in the US, and indirectly provides many even-lower-paying jobs in China.

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